(excerpt from When Father is a Bad Word)
Human love is fickle. Although the rock band Boston tried to convince my generation that love is “More Than a Feeling” human love is all too often based solely on feelings. The danger of feelings (“nothing more than feelings”) being the foundation of our love for someone is that feelings come and go. How many people today don’t quote Gordon Lightfoot in explaining why they don’t love someone anymore: “I don’t know where we went wrong, but the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back.” Basing a relationship on feelings is like trying to build a skyscraper in a swamp.
Even the term “falling in love” suggests instability. Stable, strong, focused people don’t fall. The country song I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me only proves my point.
Psychiatrist and author M. Scott Peck said, “Love is not a feeling. Love is an action, an activity… Genuine love implies commitment and the exercise of wisdom.” We can’t “fall into” that kind of love. We “step into” it.
Read carefully these words from the book of James describing our God’s love for us: Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession (James 1:17-18, NLT).
Some of us grew up in homes with shifting shadows. We didn’t know from one moment to the next what to expect. Love and stability routinely gave way to turmoil and chaos, often without notice. We found ourselves wanting to walk in love but wound up walking on eggshells. Our father’s love could be pulled out from under us at any moment, for any reason.
In the Bible, James makes it clear—our Heavenly Father doesn’t love us like that. There are no shifting shadows in His relationship with us. His love for His kids never changes. It cannot be altered by bad moods. There can be no falling out of His love. There’s no walking on eggshells around Him. We can, with complete confidence, step into love with the kind of Father who brags that we are His prized possession.
Human love is fickle. Although the rock band Boston tried to convince my generation that love is “More Than a Feeling” human love is all too often based solely on feelings. The danger of feelings (“nothing more than feelings”) being the foundation of our love for someone is that feelings come and go. How many people today don’t quote Gordon Lightfoot in explaining why they don’t love someone anymore: “I don’t know where we went wrong, but the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back.” Basing a relationship on feelings is like trying to build a skyscraper in a swamp.
Even the term “falling in love” suggests instability. Stable, strong, focused people don’t fall. The country song I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me only proves my point.
Psychiatrist and author M. Scott Peck said, “Love is not a feeling. Love is an action, an activity… Genuine love implies commitment and the exercise of wisdom.” We can’t “fall into” that kind of love. We “step into” it.
Read carefully these words from the book of James describing our God’s love for us: Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession (James 1:17-18, NLT).
Some of us grew up in homes with shifting shadows. We didn’t know from one moment to the next what to expect. Love and stability routinely gave way to turmoil and chaos, often without notice. We found ourselves wanting to walk in love but wound up walking on eggshells. Our father’s love could be pulled out from under us at any moment, for any reason.
In the Bible, James makes it clear—our Heavenly Father doesn’t love us like that. There are no shifting shadows in His relationship with us. His love for His kids never changes. It cannot be altered by bad moods. There can be no falling out of His love. There’s no walking on eggshells around Him. We can, with complete confidence, step into love with the kind of Father who brags that we are His prized possession.
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