Joseph Telushkin, author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal said, "If you cannot go 24 hours without drinking liquor, you are addicted to alcohol. If you cannot go 24 hours without smoking, you are addicted to nicotine. Similarly, if you cannot go 24 hours without saying unkind words to or about others, then you have lost control of your tongue.”
God says it clearly: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful or building others up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)
We all need the encouragement and support that comes from words that are kind and affirming. Every one of us has that need. But the need is even greater for those who didn't hear such words growing up.
Kind words build others up. Unkind words tear them down. If you can't say anything nice about someone you're not looking deep enough. Build them up with your words according to their needs. It will benefit them. And it will benefit you.