Having grown up in the church, I learned the importance of submission; of looking to God for the answers to life's questions; of seeking His will and setting mine aside. So, whenever I am faced with making a major decision, I have prayed. I've waited on God. And sometimes I've waited and waited and waited. I've waited for Him to make His way clear. To give me a nudge, a poke to the ribs; to spell out His plan in the sky or, better yet, in a downloadable PDF file.
I liked to tell myself that by waiting for God to give me the answer I was being deeply spiritual. But, truth be known, it wasn't my faith that was leading me to surrender my will. It was my insecurity.
Fear would whisper in my ear, What if your ultimate decision is really what you want to do and not what God wants you to do? What if you fall flat on your face? What are people going to say about you? What if you choose poorly and have to spend the rest of your life living it down?
More times than I would like to admit, I have asked God to show me what I needed to do because I had little confidence that I could make the right decision. I wanted Him to make the decision for me. So I would wait for Him to take charge.
Then one day it dawned on me. What if, while I'm spending all this time waiting on God, God is waiting on me? What if, as I've been asking Him to spell it out for me in vivid detail, He's been saying,
- I've blessed you with a mind. Use it.
- Your heart belongs to Me. Trust it.
- There is a passion in you that is fueled by Me. Follow it.
When faced with making important life decisions, rather than looking for God to act as a commander who gives us a clear plan as to what to do and how to do it, we would be wise to see Him as more of a counselor, equipping and encouraging us to do what we already know we need to do.