There is a great deal of concern among Christians that the younger generation is seemingly disinterested in today’s church. There are a number of theories as to why.

It is widely believed that teens and twenty-somethings have turned away from the church for one or more of the following reasons:

• They find it boring.
• They can’t relate to the preaching.
• They don’t like the music.
• They have short attention spans.
• They feel that they don’t fit in.

While all these things may contribute to the younger generation’s aversion to the church, I believe there is more to it than a desire for relevance, acceptance, and an eight-piece double bass drum set.
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According to a study I read recently, do you know what it is that the younger generation most wants to see in today’s church? Adults who are real.

You see, young people can spot a fake a mile away. And what they desire most in God's church are adults who are the real deal, who are the same outside of church than they are inside, who are honest about their problems and how they are affected by them.

Especially in today’s world, with the disintegration of the family, young people need a safe haven where they can be themselves; where they can share struggles, ask questions, and admit fears. But for many people—young and old alike—the church is the least safe place to be vulnerable.

In my ministry, I have been blessed to work with a number of recovering addicts, many of whom grew up in the church. Their mantra is the same. They have found more grace, love, and acceptance in 12-step groups than they did in God’s church. 

Some time ago, I came across a guy I had gone to high school with. He was raised in a church-going family, but took a left turn when he entered his teen years. Last I had heard he wasn’t exactly walking close to the Lord. Imagine my surprise when our paths crossed years later and I heard him openly and excitedly sharing his newly-ignited faith. I couldn’t help but acknowledge the difference I saw in him and ask, “What church did you get plugged into?”

I was totally unprepared for his response. He laughed and said, “I didn’t find Christ in the church. I found Him in A.A.!”

As a defender of God’s church, I was initially offended by his response. But after he explained, I became challenged by it.

He viewed A.A. as a safe place, where everyone is on a level playing field; a place where sinners can openly acknowledge their shortcomings without fear of being judged; a place where pretending and pride are not tolerated, where support and encouragement flows freely.

I immediately realized that is not a description of today’s church.

I recognize that there are many congregations out there who are getting it right. If you belong to such a church community, you are blessed. But if your church is not worthy of the adjectives loving, forgiving, grace-filled, and accepting, I pray that change would begin with you.    
 
It’s my hunch that God’s original design for the church was that it more resemble an A.A. meeting than what it has become today. 

When I facilitate church leadership retreats I often begin with the question, "What makes a church successful?" Some of the answers I get:

• Bringing people to faith.
  
• Being a positive presence in the community.
  
• Drawing people of all ages to worship services.
  
• Reaching out to the poor and needy.
  
• Meeting the budget. 
  

Most responses to that question suggest that "success," in terms of the church, is determined by numbers and/or dollars. But is it? That depends on our definition of "success."

I have found that many folks, inside and out of the church, can't even define "success." And if we don't know what we're striving for it's rather difficult to know if we've achieved it. The old adage is true: If we aim at nothing, we'll hit it every time. 

That axiom not only applies to the church. It's true of our personal lives as well. If we can't even define what a "successful" life is, how can we expect to live one?

The working definition I offer at church leadership retreats is this: A successful church is a church that accomplishes its mission. 

If a church's mission is to reach out to those who don't know Jesus with the good news of the Gospel, it doesn't matter how many children attend their Vacation Bible School if all the kids come from that church or surrounding churches. If all the attendees already know Jesus it doesn't matter if 5,000 kids show up, the effort was a failure. It didn't accomplish what the church stated they wanted to accomplish.

All successful churches have a mission statement--a clearly defined declaration of their aims and values. Successful churches know they are successful because they have met the goals they set. Success in our personal lives is determined the same way. We are successful when we accomplish our life's mission. 

I have never met a person who didn't want their lives to be a "success." But I have met countless people who have no clue what true "success" in life even looks like. Well here it is, folks. Don't miss this. 

                                The key to success is to know your mission and to live it out.
 
Our great God has created us for a purpose. We have all been wired to accomplish very specific tasks that only we--out of all the people in the world--can carry out. The Creator has given each of us talents, abilities, experiences, and passion that no one else on earth has. We must discover what our unique mission in life is, then articulate it.

After floating through life for years, not really sure of where I was going, let alone when I was going to get there, I was challenged at a spiritual retreat to come up with a personal mission statement; to take some time alone with God to determine how He might deem my life successful in light of the talents, abilities, experiences, and passion He had given me. 

That time away with God was, quite literally, a defining moment in my life. In the solitude of the woods bordering the shoreline at the Indiana Dunes State Park, my Creator made me aware of precisely why I was created. My mission: To make an eternal difference in the lives of others by helping them to experience the love, healing, and grace of our Heavenly Father.

Having that personal mission statement has been tremendously freeing. It has given me a heavenly perspective of my life. It has allowed me to operate out of my passion, unhindered by the trappings of "success" as the world defines it. My success is not dependent on how many books I sell, how many people sign up for my conferences, or how much money I make. I am successful when I help other people to feel a Father's love, perhaps for the first time. I am successful when I enable hurting souls to discover a God who longs to heal them and bind up their wounds. I am successful when I lead those who have been judged, condemned, and treated unfairly to encounter God's unfathomable grace.

Do you want to be a success in the business world? In your community? In your marriage? As a parent? As a Christian? Ask God to make your mission clear. Write it down. Memorize it.  Recite it every morning when you get up. Then live it out. You will be more successful than you could ever imagine.

People who are wrestling with their spirituality aren't looking for churches that give them answers. They're looking for churches where they are free to ask questions.

I hadn’t seen him since high school. I must admit, the memories dredged from my pool of thought did not inspire me to greet him with warm affection. 

I remembered Ed as a trouble maker. He was big for his age and he used that to his advantage, often pushing late bloomers like me out of his way. Worst of all, he got busted for drugs, an offense made more offensive because we attended a Christian school.

I vaguely remember hearing something about his having family problems. But he didn’t let me or anyone else get close enough to him to find out if it was true. 

And now, here he was, decades later, talking openly about his life-changing encounter with Jesus. It wasn’t just talk. The spiritual change in him was palpable. His whole countenance was changed. Ed was a totally different person.

So stunning was his transformation that I had to ask, “What church did you get plugged into to bring about such a change?”

I will never forget his response. He sneered, reminiscent of the guy I remembered in high school, and said, “I didn’t find Christ in the church. I found Him at A.A.”

I share that story in one of my talks. Church people don’t like it much. But rather than be offended by Ed’s comment, I encourage Christians to be challenged by it.

For those not familiar with A.A., Alcoholics Anonymous is a place where:

• Sinners are safe from judgment, no matter what you’ve done.

• There is no reason to pretend that you have your act together because no one there has their act together.
  
• No one cares how you look or dress or talk or vote--all that matters is that you know that you matter. 
  
• Shame is never used to try to make you conform to a particular standard of behavior.

There are many wounded souls like Ed who would not apply that same definition to today’s church. Many struggling people have turned to the church for acceptance and love, grace and forgiveness, only to leave with an even deeper sense of regret and shame. 

If you asked Christians for the first thought that comes to mind when they hear the word sanctuary, most will make reference to the big room in a church where worship services are held. But there is another definition of the word that we often don’t consider. Sanctuary is also defined as: a safe place; a refuge for the oppressed; a place that provides protection.

Most churches have a sanctuary. But how many churches are a sanctuary? 

For far too many--particularly those who are entangled in sinful behavior--the church is the least safe place for them to be. It is the place where they feel most oppressed. It is the place where they feel least protected.  

In all His encounters with struggling and sinful people, Jesus never once used shame to modify their behavior. Truth is, there was no safer person to be with. Jesus was called Refuge, Fortress, High Tower, Strength and Shield. Jesus met people in the midst of their deepest sin and offered grace, not guilt; serenity, not sermons; healing, not more hurt. Jesus not only took all our sins to the cross to die, but all our shame.

One has to believe that He would want His church looking a lot more like A.A. and a lot less like what it has become for way too many people. 

In a recent Bureau of Labor Statistics report, it was determined that the deadliest job in America is commercial fishing. It is more dangerous than being an iron worker, a truck driver, or a miner. Even repairing power lines is a safer job than being a deep sea fisherman. 

When Jesus began assembling His church He invited His followers to be fishers of men. His disciples, some of whom were fishermen, understood the tremendous risk involved. It was clearly not a calling for the weak the heart.

If we Christians fully understood the scope of what Jesus asked His followers to do and actively pursued being fishers of men, I would suppose today's church would resemble a rescue ship. We, as followers of Christ, would always be at-the-ready; eager to go out and save those who are in spiritual distress. Nothing--not even high seas or forging into uncharted territory--would prevent us from carrying out our God-given mission.

People who work on rescue ships are very clear about their purpose. They are focused on one thing and one thing only: saving people. 

That is what Jesus had in mind when He asked His followers to become fishers of men. 

But, all too often, today’s church looks not so much like a rescue ship as it does a cruise ship. The primary concern of those on board is our comfort, our enjoyment, having our needs met. We sit back on our reclining pews, reading our favorite Bible translation, and expect to be waited on hand and foot. We have a sense of entitlement, reasoning that since we paid for it with our offerings and acts of service, the voyage should meet our every expectation.

On a cruise ship, if a need or a problem arises,  passengers demand that the “help” solve it immediately. We even complain when the seas get a little choppy and expect the captain and crew to steer us back toward calm waters so we can be comfortable once again. If our experience does not meet our satisfaction, we simply find another cruise line. 

Meanwhile, people all around us are dying. And so is the church.

It's easy to blame steadily declining church involvement on a cultural shift from biblical roots, time pressures, an anti-Christian media bias, children's sports programs, and boring and irrelevant worship services. But if we, as a church, were doing what we were called by Jesus Himself to do, there wouldn't be so many stained glass windows being boarded up. In fact, if we were serious about reaching out to those in need with the love of Jesus we'd need to build more churches.  

Everywhere we look, there are people in danger. People who are crying out for help as they struggle to keep their heads above their marital problems, addictions, depression, debt. Some have observed many a ship cruise by without so much as throwing out a life line. They have given up hope that they will ever be saved. 

The single biggest difference between a rescue ship and a cruise ship is that the people on a cruise ship are not all that concerned with what is going on outside the boat. We cannot possibly fulfill our commission to lovingly and selflessly respond to the needs of others if we see the voyage as all about us. 

We Christians can’t miss the boat on this. This is about our very purpose. This is about being the people that God wants us to be. This is about showing unconditional, non-judgmental, Christ-like love to others who Jesus thought enough of to die for. Jesus isn’t interested in our being comfortable. He is interested in our being committed.

"I've been burned too many times."
"I don't know who I can trust."
"It's safer to just keep my problems to myself."

All are comments made by wounded souls who have been hurt even further by the words and attitudes of others. But keeping our problems to ourselves is not the answer. Our great God created us as relational beings. We were never meant to go it alone in this world. We must recognize that just as our pain comes through relationships, our healing comes through relationships.

On the west coast of the U.S. are found the tallest living tree species on earth. Coastal redwoods have been known to grow taller than 300 feet in height and up to 20 feet in diameter.

But what’s most amazing about coastal redwoods is how long they live, There are redwoods in California that are more than 2,000 years old. Think about that—some of these giant trees were saplings when Jesus walked the earth.

What makes the giant redwoods' longevity so incredible is that many of these trees have survived drought, forest fires, and the fiercest of storms--even though their roots grow only 4-6 feet into the ground.

So why are these giant trees so resilient? How do they continue to stand strong no matter what nature brings their way? Their durability is attributed to their root system. Although they don't grow very deep, the roots of individual redwoods grow intertwined with the roots of their neighbors. These trees have a simple, yet strong support system. They are "holding hands" with each other underground.

God designed an in-ground, nurturing network for these trees that allows them to withstand the severest of storms and continue to grow heavenward.

God has created a similar network for us—its called the church. The church is meant to be a nurturing support system where Christians are grounded together; where believers help each other to withstand the storms of life and stand in the power of Christ.

Throughout the Bible, when referring to His church, God uses the phrase “one another.” In His Word, our Heavenly Father tells us that we are to love one another, encourage one another, comfort one another, forgive one another, rejoice with one another, and mourn with one another. The Christian community is designed by God to be a support group of sorts where believers rely on one another to get through life's disturbances.

The word support means, to hold up, to keep from losing courage. When we're battered and bruised and finding it difficult to stand, our Father in Heaven lends His loving support, not only through His Word and through our prayers, but through people whom He has strategically placed all around us. Find those people in your life through whom God will work to help hold you up and give you the courage you need to go on. Reach out to them. Draw strength from them so you can stand strong once again. If you've relied on someone in the past only to have your trust broken, you need to look elsewhere for support. Help is always available. Our Heavenly Father will never leave us to deal with our pain all alone.   

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. (Isaiah 41:10, NLT)