A very common practice today in the world of photography is procedure called airbrushing. Airbrushing makes alterations to what is real so that a photographed person or object appears to have no imperfections.

Airbrushing can remove all warts, wrinkles, scars, freckles, zits, tats, moles, flab, sweat beads, and boogers and present us "perfect" to the world. 

For many Christians, our religious customs can have the same effect. Rather than acknowledge the imperfections in our lives, we cover them with our church attendance, good deeds, spiritual soundbites, and pious prayers.  

It only stands to reason that when we choose to cover rather than confess our flaws, we are more prone to stand in judgment of those whose faults are there for the world to see.
 
In Psalm 51, David's raw and real psalm of confession, he shares the single greatest sacrifice we can give to God. It is not perfect church attendance. It is not righteous adherence to the law. It is not presenting to the world that we have our spiritual act together. What God desires most from us is a broken spirit. God despises pride and rejoices in remorse. He is blessed by our humble admission that we are deeply flawed, scarred by sin, and far from perfect. 

To put it bluntly, we Christians must stop pretending. We must stop masking our inadequacies by flaunting our faith. We must stop trying to project the image that we don't struggle with sin like those "unbelievers." Why do you think non-Christians rejoice when a believer falls?

Truth be known, unbelievers don't have as much of a problem with Christians who sin as they do with Christians who pretend they don't. 

God is not the least bit impressed with spirits that are strong, self-secure and saintly. He admires spirits that are hopelessly, helplessly, irretrievably broken. He wants His followers to exhibit contrite hearts; to confess our faults one to another; to openly own the fact that we are sinners who fall far short of His glory.
   
Why is it so important to God that our spirits be broken? Because:
(a.) we will never accept a Savior until we recognize how much we need one, and 
(b.) we will never effectively relate God's truth to others if we are living a lie.

There is a great debate today over whether or not celebrities are role models to children. A number of professional athletes and entertainers, usually after some personal transgression has been made public, have stated that even though they are looked up to by the younger generation, they should never be labeled as role models to children.

The jury is still out as to whether or not Ray Rice or Beyonce or Chris Brown are to be seen as role models to our kids. But there is no question that anyone who is a parent is--for good or bad--a role model. 

Our kids are watching us. They're listening to us. And they're learning from us what it means to be a man or woman. What it means to be a Christian. What it means to be a good parent. 

Since the publication of my book, When Father is a Bad Word, I have heard from people all around the world whose mothers and fathers have taught them some rather troubling things. The example set by their parents has taught more adults that we would like to believe that:

• Parents lie.
  
• Parents cheat.
  
• Parents put work and pleasure before family.
  
• Parents expect perfection.
  
• Parents can't be trusted. 
  
• Parents are hateful.
  
• Parents leave when things get rough.
  

  
Author Steve Farrar, the Founder and Chairman of Men's Leadership Ministries, shares a story that speaks of the importance of parents setting a good example to their kids. His family moved to a new town when he was sophomore in high school. 

Steve knew that one of the best ways to make new friends was to go out for a sport. He really wanted to go out for basketball but realized he couldn’t. He had done something very foolish. Because he had goofed around in class he had gotten a D on his report card. His dad’s rule for the three boys in their family was clear: You bring home anything lower than a C, you don’t play sports.

But one day in PE class, the varsity basketball coach saw Steve shooting hoops. He was impressed enough to approach Steve and invite to try out for the varsity team. Steve sheepishly told him he couldn’t because of his report card. The coach was quick to point out that according to school rules he was still eligible to play if he had just one D.

Steve said, “Yes, sir, I realize that, but you have to understand that my dad has his own eligibility rules.”

The coach flippantly said, “What’s your phone number?  I’m going to call your dad.”

Steve said, “I’ll give you the phone number, but it will be a waste of your time.”

The coach soon found that to be true. Steve’s dad pointedly told the coach that it was his job as a father to teach his sons how to be responsible and that if Steve really wanted to play basketball next season he knew what he needed to do. 

The coach kept pushing. But Steve's father stood firm.

The next morning, the coach came up to Steve in the locker room and said, “I talked to your dad yesterday afternoon and he wouldn’t budge.  I explained the school eligibility rules, but he wouldn’t change his mind.  I don’t have very much respect for your father.”

Steve was stunned. This coach doesn’t respect my father? 

Steve reflects that at the time he thought,"Even I have enough sense to know that my dad is doing the right thing.  Sure, I want to play ball, but I know that my dad is a man of his word and he is right in not letting me play. I can’t believe this coach would say such a thing.”

“Coach,” Steve said.  “I can tell you that I highly respect my dad.  And I also want you to know that I will never play basketball for you.”

And he never did. Even though he got his grades up he never went out for the varsity team. Why? Because he refused to play for man who didn’t respect his father for doing right thing.

Steve later said, “My dad was man of conviction and character. And any coach who couldn’t see that was not the kind of man I wanted to be associated with. My dad was strict and unwilling to change his conviction even though he had gone to college on a basketball scholarship and it hurt him for me not to play ball. My dad was capable of change, but he was unwilling to change because he had a long-term objective for my life that the coach didn’t have. The coach wanted to win games. My dad wanted to build a son.”

Parents, do you want to set a positive example to your children? Do you want to build them up in a world that is all too ready to tear them down? Do you want them to stand up for what is right when others are pressuring them to do wrong? Do you want to teach them the importance of being a person of integrity? Then accept the fact that the greatest role model they will ever have is you. 

In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. (Titus 2:7-8, NIV) 

Since her passing a few days ago, many colorful words have been used to describe the life of Joan Rivers. Indeed, she was hilarious. She was quick-witted. She was a trail-blazer, a pioneer. She was brazen.  

But after watching a documentary of her life filmed a few years ago, the word that has kept coming to my mind when I think of her is insecure. She appeared to be driven by an insatiable desire to be loved and accepted by others. It seemed she didn't just want people to laugh at her routine, she needed them to laugh. Criticism sent her reeling. 

Although she denied the 2002 Huffington Post report that she had undergone over 700 "procedures," Rivers at least was honest that she had had plastic surgery. I found that quite refreshing, especially in a Hollywood culture where lying about nose jobs and botox injections is second nature--even when the physical evidence of such enhancements cannot be disputed. 

Yet, the fact remains, that even though Joan Rivers went to great lengths to build a face and body that defied her eighty-plus years, she was never secure enough in who she was to leave well enough alone.  

Have you ever found that it takes much more effort and energy to pretend to be someone you're not than to simply be who you really are?

Yet, so often--in an effort to win the approval of others-- we find ourselves wearing masks. We are insecure in who we are. More frequently than we would like to admit, we go to great lengths to prevent others from seeing the "real" us. 

The driving force behind our insecurity is often a deep-seated fear of being rejected. We tell ourselves, If they knew who I really was they would want nothing to do with me. So we spend our lives projecting a false image of who we are. And we lose ourselves in the process.

In ancient Greece, theater troupes often wore masks which exaggerated facial features and expressions. The masks, called hupos, prevented audience members from knowing the true identity of the person wearing it, enabling actors to play several different roles in the same play.       
The Greek actors behind the hupos were known as hupokrites. If that word looks familiar, it should. It's where we get the word hypocrite. 

In the Christian culture, hypocrite is a label we like to hang on people whose walk doesn't match their talk; who are quick to point out the blemishes in others without ever looking into a mirror themselves. The biblical Pharisees are a case in point. If anyone personified sheer hypocrisy, it was those self-righteous Pharisees.

But perhaps we would be wise to take a closer look at the definition of the word.  A hypocrite is someone who pretends to be something they’re not; someone who is false; someone who hides who they really are.

The moment we insist that the word does not describe us we prove that it does. As the Apostle Paul so eloquently writes, All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). Despite our best efforts to hide our shortcomings, we all come up short. But because being brutally honest with ourselves and others might reveal flaws we don't want to admit we have, we often come to the false conclusion that it is less painful to simply pretend we have our spiritual act together. That is commonly called living a lie. And that makes us hypocrites.

The opposite of hypocrisy is sincerity. The word sincere comes from Latin word sincerus which means without wax.

Early Romans who sold pottery would often come across jars that had cracks. It was a common practice for merchants to use colored wax to fill in cracks so the imperfections would be hidden from prospective buyers. But it didn't take long for buyers who had been deceived to begin holding the jars out in the sun before making a purchase. If the jars had filled-in cracks, the sun's rays would melt away the wax and the flaws would be revealed.

To prove their honesty, merchants began labeling their pottery sincerus, or, without wax.

We all need relationships in which we can be free to be who we truly are--relationships that are genuine, authentic, and real. We need to be "without wax" in the presence of other people who are "without wax." And if we find that we cannot be ourselves in front of some folks, the answer is not to put on a mask and pretend to be something we're not. The answer is to find other folks--people who will love and accept us despite our flaws. 
 
That's why I love Jesus so much. I don't have to pretend with Him. In fact, I can't pretend with Him. He knows everything about me. He sees what's behind the mask I often wear in front of others. He knows the real me and loves me anyway. That security enables me to be real in an un-real world.

We all have our favorite slogans, Scripture verses, even song lyrics that encapsulate our core beliefs. They become our "words to live by"; a mantra we find ourselves repeating continually, either in our heads or out loud. We recite our phrase of choice whenever challenges come our way. Some folks are so committed to their slogan that they have it tattooed on their person; their bodies becoming living, moving billboards promoting their particular proverb for all to see.

Some of the more inspirational inscriptions on people's lives: 

• If you can dream it, you can do it.--Walt Disney
  

• You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down.--Charlie Chaplin
  

• Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.--Mother Teresa
  

• Carpe diem (seize the day)--Horace
  

• Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.--Helen Keller
  

• I can do all things through him who strengthens me.--Apostle Paul
  

• Don't worry, be happy.--Bobby McFerrin
  

When I was younger, my personal slogan was not quite so inspirational. Disturbing might be a more fitting adjective. You see, for much of my life, my motto was: If you always expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed. 

Not exactly a phrase you want under your name in the school yearbook. 

For me, having grown up in an alcoholic home where my main objective was to simply get through each day with some semblance of sanity, those words served as a banner of protection. They prevented me from being hurt even more. They guarded me from being let down even further. They insulated me from experiencing even deeper dejection.

My life's slogan, as cynical as it sounds, actually proved to be helpful to me as a child. It shielded me from greater hurt and frustration. But when, as a grownup, I defaulted to my childhood motto, I found that the words that once were strangely beneficial were now causing untold harm.

It took a lot of soul-searching to recognize it, but those ten words had sucked joy out of my life. They put a damper on my spirit. They drained me of hope. 

My introspection led me to the discovery that when one always expects the worst it's impossible to truly enjoy life. We cannot relish the good when we're convinced that bad is lurking around the corner. We can't appreciate times of blessing when we've come to believe that we're cursed.

I came to the realization that my mantra was incompatible with the message of Scripture. The Bible speaks of a God in whom we can have great expectations. In His Word, we discover a Heavenly Father who wants His kids to not just expect joy, but the fullness of joy; not just peace, but peace that surpasses all comprehension; not just life, but the abundance of life.

The Greek word for abundance that Jesus used means, overflowing; considerably more than one could expect or anticipate. While believers are promised this kind of life, that is not to say that difficulties and heartaches won't come our way. But when we come to expect adversity, we will find that our expectation is often realized; it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

When we look for the bad in any and every situation we will find it. And we will miss out on the joy, peace, and abundance of life that God wants us to have. 

I have found that waiting on God is far more preferable than waiting for the other shoe to drop. There are still times when my old way of thinking kicks in. That not only hurts me, it hurts the God who yearns for me to put my hope in Him at all times, in all situations. 

In the book of Romans, Paul offers this prayer for me and believers of all generations: I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rom. 15:13, NLT)

I now have a new life's motto: If you always expect the best, you will bring honor to God.